The Haunting of a Quarter Life Crisis
[Originally written and posted on 16th June 2015. Re-edited]
Coming to terms with your career, dealing with the image that you provide to the public, the harsh reality of the real world, loneliness, all those assumptions of everything seeming to work out for everyone except yourself…In general, what you experience just seems to be a lot more challenging now than how it used to be. Although experience can be on your side, (though limited as it is), you still believe in the principles and methods that were taught to you by your parents and at school, but sometimes they don’t work as well as they used to.
Self-deception is a common tool used to assist in serving one’s own delusion. You may think you deserve x, but you only ever get y, and because you feel you deserve that what was paid, your frustration stems from your delusion.
What you can fail to realise is that your perception of self is denying you the ultimate reality: We all have untapped reservoirs of potential that we haven’t even begun to realise and embrace yet.
As much as this may read like the usual ‘if you believe it, you can achieve it’ tripe, I prefer to head you in a different direction. Let’s agree for all intents and purposes that the environment that you live in works on energy and vibration, and that there are different levels to these vibratory frequencies that govern your environment.
It’s simple logic to know that the higher frequency that you vibrate on, the more chance you have to attain your desire - and if you vibrate on a lower level, you’re likely to engage on not only self-destructive behaviours, but also keep yourself in a dark mental house of horrors, so to speak. In this house of horrors, you’re confronted with all your fears, burdens and outlays of guilt that you have accumulated, so much so that you become used to it, even comfortable with it. It feels like a never-ending cycle, but with the overabundance of entertainment and technology at your disposal in today’s world, getting used to your sadness should be no problem. You can either wallow in this perpetual state of melancholia, or you can take another path.
If you’re seeking an alternative, then you must force yourself in the opposite direction than above. You delete all those deft defying thoughts of sadness and self-pity that you have and re-examine the beliefs that you currently hold in esteem. Once this is done, you naturally begin to find the pieces to your jigsaw that are required to make your grand vision clearer for your future achievements.
Having clear goals will help in your everyday activities, you can categorise these in two functions: Productive/Non-Productive - “doing this will not advance me / I can learn something from doing this”. You will then eventually know which battles to avoid and which ones that are necessary to make your plan come to fruition.
Below are some points you can employ that will assist you in your path:
Re-evaluate your Beliefs
If we were to look at an unpleasant experience and begin to peruse “what if”, sometimes you will find that it is your beliefs that held you back from achievement. Analysing the beliefs that you currently value could give you clues to what is currently holding you back but more importantly you must be audacious enough to open your mind to new details. As you get older this becomes even more challenging. Information spreads ever more quickly in this secular world of ours, so keeping your mind fluid with the times will help you to handle the information overload that you are likely to encounter.
Change of Perspective
Since what we focus our energy on is what brings life and power, changing your perspective on how you judge events can alter how you solve problems. If for example, all you saw in your current circumstance were the obstacles, then you would more than likely be discouraged. On the other hand, if you saw the advantages and inevitably rise up to the challenge, then you would attack the situation with confidence, and even if it does not work out as planned, the education received would be ever more beneficial to you.
Arguably the most challenging but also the most powerful of the three points, is Patience. All humans have a dark, primal side of us that we usually refrain ourselves from tapping into. This animalistic side of us comes out in varying forms occasionally but we usually end up making unnecessary mistakes due to our impotence and reacting to the events happening to us. Becoming resourceful, making the most of what you already have, results in using this tactic, effectively creating even more resources for you in the long run. With this is mind then, you must assume your life as a chess board, plotting several steps ahead in such detail that when the setbacks inevitably come, you will be in a much stronger position to refrain yourself from emotion led decisions.
The majority of things that you encounter in life force you to be defensive, where playing it safe seems to be the only practical solution. Being at the quarter stage of your life and not totally doing or achieving everything that you wish does not deem you in crisis. As mentioned above it is down to perspective. The media, colleagues at work, family, friends, even yourself all underhandedly remind you as to why you can’t accomplish your goals. This builds up layers of fear in you. You must then eliminate these parasitic energies and strategically concoct your way through with energy and grace.